I seriously do not know how to begin this. Lately, my mind and my heart has been flooded with so many things that I just feel that I needed to do this post (even though I will post about the events of today later). Before coming to my internship today I've just been having so many thoughts.
As the gears in my head start to turn and I look at the calendar I can not believe how fast the time went by. Although I do have this whole week left, and it may be a bit premature for me to write this right now, I just have to get these thoughts out of my system. You know when I think about the things that I had to go through all my life, the bad feelings I have had since I was little because of malicious words towards me; Words that made me feel worthless, talentless, and just down right like nothing, I can never dare say there is no God or God has left me. I have missed out on many opportunities when I was little because of me thinking that I was never capable of doing anything. Being told that I would never finish high school or amount to anything was a driving force behind many issues in my teenage life, but I overcame it because God was always smiling on me and I graduate from college next May with honors, being on the deans list, and 2 honor society inductions. I mean I did wake up every morning asking God why he did make me, just thinking I was a waste of space and time. My teenage years were dark times, but I made it through.
Focusing on my life now. I am here at this internship and living life everyday in God. I am just going to be honest, I forgot that this was an internship a long time ago. I mean I understand that I am getting credit for it,and that it is looked at by my school as a summer class, but to me it is more than that. I have stopped doing this for the grade the first hour I started. I mean I wish everyone got the chance to just walk into the station and absorb the love that fills the atmosphere. During the time that I have been here, I have been able to overcome many insecurities and fight many past thoughts that have prohibited me from living my life all these years. I have given my all into every task not because of gaining a grade, but just because I love it and it has just been the best time of my life and I say this with all the sincerity in my heart. I love helping and if I am able to help people who help people, WOW! It has instilled in me peace and understanding,given me patience and has helped me understand love. Love for God, love for myself and love for others. The people that I have been surrounded by illuminate love and have taught me so much. Many of my friends are anxious for school to start and are ready just to get classes going. However, I wish their summer was as fulfilling as mine so they would be able to understand what love is. I have also found out this summer that I really do have a talent and can contribute to things without "messing it up". I still don't know exactly where my talent lies, but I am taking it a day at a time. This summer has been a true blessing in my life, and I am seriously going to help out whenever I can. My heart is just so full. So so full. So full beyond words that the word thank you to each and every one of my teachers here isn't enough. I wish I could just give everyone here my heart because of how great they are. *sigh*
"Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness." Romans 12:6-8
Well I am going to get back to work, yay Friday free for all mail outs!!!!!!!!!! :-)
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