I seriously do not know how to begin this. Lately, my mind and my heart has been flooded with so many things that I just feel that I needed to do this post (even though I will post about the events of today later). Before coming to my internship today I've just been having so many thoughts.
As the gears in my head start to turn and I look at the calendar I can not believe how fast the time went by. Although I do have this whole week left, and it may be a bit premature for me to write this right now, I just have to get these thoughts out of my system. You know when I think about the things that I had to go through all my life, the bad feelings I have had since I was little because of malicious words towards me; Words that made me feel worthless, talentless, and just down right like nothing, I can never dare say there is no God or God has left me. I have missed out on many opportunities when I was little because of me thinking that I was never capable of doing anything. Being told that I would never finish high school or amount to anything was a driving force behind many issues in my teenage life, but I overcame it because God was always smiling on me and I graduate from college next May with honors, being on the deans list, and 2 honor society inductions. I mean I did wake up every morning asking God why he did make me, just thinking I was a waste of space and time. My teenage years were dark times, but I made it through.
Focusing on my life now. I am here at this internship and living life everyday in God. I am just going to be honest, I forgot that this was an internship a long time ago. I mean I understand that I am getting credit for it,and that it is looked at by my school as a summer class, but to me it is more than that. I have stopped doing this for the grade the first hour I started. I mean I wish everyone got the chance to just walk into the station and absorb the love that fills the atmosphere. During the time that I have been here, I have been able to overcome many insecurities and fight many past thoughts that have prohibited me from living my life all these years. I have given my all into every task not because of gaining a grade, but just because I love it and it has just been the best time of my life and I say this with all the sincerity in my heart. I love helping and if I am able to help people who help people, WOW! It has instilled in me peace and understanding,given me patience and has helped me understand love. Love for God, love for myself and love for others. The people that I have been surrounded by illuminate love and have taught me so much. Many of my friends are anxious for school to start and are ready just to get classes going. However, I wish their summer was as fulfilling as mine so they would be able to understand what love is. I have also found out this summer that I really do have a talent and can contribute to things without "messing it up". I still don't know exactly where my talent lies, but I am taking it a day at a time. This summer has been a true blessing in my life, and I am seriously going to help out whenever I can. My heart is just so full. So so full. So full beyond words that the word thank you to each and every one of my teachers here isn't enough. I wish I could just give everyone here my heart because of how great they are. *sigh*
"Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness." Romans 12:6-8
Well I am going to get back to work, yay Friday free for all mail outs!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Monday, July 26, 2010
A Night with Michelle and Michelle
I love the title of this blog because that is exactly what Saturday night was. It was an awesome night! I got to spend time with Michelle Tellone. She does a program every Saturday night called light force and is also on air every weeknight for a 7pm-10pm spot. She is a great person and someone who is truly blessed. I got to meet the whole light force team which was great, because they are all amazing people and were really welcoming of me.
Before I go any farther, let me explain exactly what light force is. Light force is a program that targets youth (even though any age group can listen). Michelle brings together two things that she loves in order to help youth, God and rock music. She plays christian rock, and just gives youth the opportunity to live right and accept God as their saviour. She has people guarding the phones, ready to pray with people, accept song requests, and even just talk to listeners . Light force is big, and necessary especially in today's world where youth are lost, down and out, and just feel no hope. Michelle is really blessed. She told me her story about how she ended up at the joy FM, and it was a story that was just powerful and that I could relate to so much.
After talking with Michelle, it was time to go on the air. It was awesome being on the air, but my insecurities set in again.......my voice. This was a question that I asked Michelle about. You see, I could relate to Michelle , because her voice wasn't always the smooth voice that she has now. She told me that her voice was shaky and just not the voice she thought she would go far in radio with. So I asked her how did she work with her voice, and she told me. So I will be trying out exactly what she said. I loved being there on Saturday. I left about midnight, but I didn't mind because of the love and knowledge I walked away with. :-) Bye for now!
Before I go any farther, let me explain exactly what light force is. Light force is a program that targets youth (even though any age group can listen). Michelle brings together two things that she loves in order to help youth, God and rock music. She plays christian rock, and just gives youth the opportunity to live right and accept God as their saviour. She has people guarding the phones, ready to pray with people, accept song requests, and even just talk to listeners . Light force is big, and necessary especially in today's world where youth are lost, down and out, and just feel no hope. Michelle is really blessed. She told me her story about how she ended up at the joy FM, and it was a story that was just powerful and that I could relate to so much.
After talking with Michelle, it was time to go on the air. It was awesome being on the air, but my insecurities set in again.......my voice. This was a question that I asked Michelle about. You see, I could relate to Michelle , because her voice wasn't always the smooth voice that she has now. She told me that her voice was shaky and just not the voice she thought she would go far in radio with. So I asked her how did she work with her voice, and she told me. So I will be trying out exactly what she said. I loved being there on Saturday. I left about midnight, but I didn't mind because of the love and knowledge I walked away with. :-) Bye for now!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Another Morning with the Morning Cruise and Face book
So time does fly, when you are having fun and learning lessons. I reached at the station around 7:30am and I was able to sit in on The Morning Cruise again which was awesome. I think I am beginning to use the word awesome too much, but how else would I describe such a good time? Even though The Morning Cruise crew was incomplete (Dave has time off, Happy Anniversary by the way!) the entertainment was still going full force. Watching Carmen and Bill this morning just sending their energy through the mics, is amazing. However, I know that it is also draining for them, because they put their all into their work and family. This is something that I truly admire. I admire it about everyone here. I just love the fact that everyone loves what they do and love each other.
I dedicated the rest of my day to helping Carmen with the Morning Cruise Fan Page. When I was finished with it, I was just so happy that she was happy. She was really appreciative and I am glad I could help her. Being around people like Carmen and just everyone here, that is filled with love and grace, it is great and such a blessing. I mean I came into this not expecting to feel such emotion. I came into this knowing that I would walk away with knowledge, but not with love, maturity, open mindedness and a whole bunch of other things. Like I thought I knew what love was, but I was wrong. Being here has made me think about love more and know it and have a relationship with it. It is just all so amazing. As the days go on, I'm cherishing every minute here. <3
Live Laugh Love
P.S. Matthew West called in to the show today and today was the right day b/c we were playing many of his songs and giving away tickets to his concerts. It was great to sit in on a phone interview with an artist.
I dedicated the rest of my day to helping Carmen with the Morning Cruise Fan Page. When I was finished with it, I was just so happy that she was happy. She was really appreciative and I am glad I could help her. Being around people like Carmen and just everyone here, that is filled with love and grace, it is great and such a blessing. I mean I came into this not expecting to feel such emotion. I came into this knowing that I would walk away with knowledge, but not with love, maturity, open mindedness and a whole bunch of other things. Like I thought I knew what love was, but I was wrong. Being here has made me think about love more and know it and have a relationship with it. It is just all so amazing. As the days go on, I'm cherishing every minute here. <3
Live Laugh Love
P.S. Matthew West called in to the show today and today was the right day b/c we were playing many of his songs and giving away tickets to his concerts. It was great to sit in on a phone interview with an artist.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Thoughtful Thursday
Today so far has been awesome!!!!! I mean I have been up since 5:45 am and may be a bit delirious, but I don't care because I am having so much fun. I got to sit in on the Morning Cruise doing their thing which was awesome! I got to do a promo with Kris P. Kreme which was hilarious! and I got to learn just how the morning show prepares and work their magic. Let me just say that radio really isn't just speaking into a mic and playing -songs and promos. It is a bit more technical than that. I had loads of fun, However, on a more serious note, I want to talk about two things mentioned on the morning show and am looking forward to hearing more about.
First was Forgiveness. This morning driving to work Bill was talking about forgiveness and I must say that he is right. It is hard to forgive, but if God can forgive us for all our sins, why can't we forgive our neighbor. I have grown up in a household where forgiveness was a must. I mean things constantly happened that I had to just be upset with for an hour and then forgive the person. I think I got the forgiveness gene because my sister is the opposite. She is someone who can hold a grudge and not really forgive a person once they have crossed her the wrong way. She knows she is like this and is trying not to have this trait, BUT it seriously is hard for her to let go. Bill was talking about us forgiving people, however I think it is hard for us to admit to ourselves that we need people to forgive us. In order for us to admit this, we would have to admit that we made a mistake, and it is seriously easier for us to say others were wrong, then to admit we were wrong. Many think admitting we were wrong and asking for forgiveness is weakness, it is admitting we are creatures of error and yea that is not happening. Another point about forgiveness is how absurd some people think it is. I mean, as soon as Bill mentioned the story of the Jewish lady forgiving the concentration camp officer, I remembered another story. I remembered the story of the Amish school shooting. A man, upset about losing his newborn, went to an Amish school in his neighborhood full of children; he told all the boys to leave, and even though some girls survived he took the lives of a few children and then his own. What was the Amish communities response to this? They forgave him! They didn't say one bad thing against him, they went to the home of his wife and talked with her, comforted her and just wished her and her family well . They even attended his funeral. This shocked the nation. The question is why was this such a shock? Why should have the Amish community responded in any other way? Why can't their reaction be what is called normal?
Secondly, Carmen posted a question on facebook about fear. Ha! Fear that is funny just because that is exactly what I have had. I mean we all have it. That is why we buy guard dogs, car alarms, home security systems, etc, fear has run wild in our lives. What is my fear? My fear is a big one, my fear is my tomorrow. I mean I LOVE GOD, I TRUST GOD, and I know that he has a plan for me. I just am use to knowing my next step, whether it be in my personal life, in school, w/e I like to plan. However, how can I plan without knowing God's plan? Now that I think of it I think I see the problem that I have, and that many people have. What I think happens is that we have a specific plan for our life, that we want God to follow. It's kind of like "Hey God, so this is how I want my life to go, so make it happen, thanks." However, I think I need to take a backseat and let God do the driving. Let him full fill his plan through me. I also think that I can say I trust God all I want, but until I believe it and live it, it won't be true. Wow my head hurts, too many profound lessons in one day! Well, until next time! Live Laugh Love <3
First was Forgiveness. This morning driving to work Bill was talking about forgiveness and I must say that he is right. It is hard to forgive, but if God can forgive us for all our sins, why can't we forgive our neighbor. I have grown up in a household where forgiveness was a must. I mean things constantly happened that I had to just be upset with for an hour and then forgive the person. I think I got the forgiveness gene because my sister is the opposite. She is someone who can hold a grudge and not really forgive a person once they have crossed her the wrong way. She knows she is like this and is trying not to have this trait, BUT it seriously is hard for her to let go. Bill was talking about us forgiving people, however I think it is hard for us to admit to ourselves that we need people to forgive us. In order for us to admit this, we would have to admit that we made a mistake, and it is seriously easier for us to say others were wrong, then to admit we were wrong. Many think admitting we were wrong and asking for forgiveness is weakness, it is admitting we are creatures of error and yea that is not happening. Another point about forgiveness is how absurd some people think it is. I mean, as soon as Bill mentioned the story of the Jewish lady forgiving the concentration camp officer, I remembered another story. I remembered the story of the Amish school shooting. A man, upset about losing his newborn, went to an Amish school in his neighborhood full of children; he told all the boys to leave, and even though some girls survived he took the lives of a few children and then his own. What was the Amish communities response to this? They forgave him! They didn't say one bad thing against him, they went to the home of his wife and talked with her, comforted her and just wished her and her family well . They even attended his funeral. This shocked the nation. The question is why was this such a shock? Why should have the Amish community responded in any other way? Why can't their reaction be what is called normal?
Secondly, Carmen posted a question on facebook about fear. Ha! Fear that is funny just because that is exactly what I have had. I mean we all have it. That is why we buy guard dogs, car alarms, home security systems, etc, fear has run wild in our lives. What is my fear? My fear is a big one, my fear is my tomorrow. I mean I LOVE GOD, I TRUST GOD, and I know that he has a plan for me. I just am use to knowing my next step, whether it be in my personal life, in school, w/e I like to plan. However, how can I plan without knowing God's plan? Now that I think of it I think I see the problem that I have, and that many people have. What I think happens is that we have a specific plan for our life, that we want God to follow. It's kind of like "Hey God, so this is how I want my life to go, so make it happen, thanks." However, I think I need to take a backseat and let God do the driving. Let him full fill his plan through me. I also think that I can say I trust God all I want, but until I believe it and live it, it won't be true. Wow my head hurts, too many profound lessons in one day! Well, until next time! Live Laugh Love <3
A Not So Happy Wednesday
Death. Something that the young ignore and the old prepare for, even though we all know, no matter what age we are, Death strikes at any moment and any time. I don't mean to seem so morbid, gloomy or downright depressed, but it just seemed like yesterday there was a wake-up call. Two deaths happened recently that has brought to light this topic. One death was in the Joy Fm family. His name was Ben and he collapsed playing Tennis, that evening he was gone. He was in his fifties and not only was he a husband and father, but he was a grandfather, a coworker, a friend and a teacher of the Word of God. Even though everyone knows he has gone to be with Jesus, it is still a shock as to how sudden and unexpected his death was. I mean how many times has he played tennis? What plans did he have after playing tennis, but never got to full fill it? Did he plan to watch a movie with his grandson? a date with his wife? Or even just a quiet evening at home by the pool? I never knew him or even met him, but sitting in the conference room with the whole Joy FM staff, I was blessed enough to get to know a piece of him. Through the stories, the laughs, the tears and everything in between, I was able to feel the legacy he left behind, the love that he has shown to the ones around him, and it was wonderful.
The other death was of a baby. I am not sure how long she was able to experience the world, a few mins? seconds? not at all? but I can't imagine the pain the mother is feeling right now. Especially since that baby was going to be the last piece of her husband that she had left. Her husband was an officer killed in the line of duty two weeks ago.
So what did I gather from this? SERIOUSLY, Death knows no age. Kids die before parents, younger siblings before older siblings, I mean it happens. I mean my sister sees death everyday, she is a social worker with the elderly and she actually has seen the dying process. Yesterday, after telling me about her day, she explained to me that there are actually not only different stages of dying, but she has seen different kinds of ways people "move on". It is scary, but it is natural. Yesterday, was emotionally draining for me, which is a downside of being a feeler. I pray for both families mentioned, and have really gotten an eye opener. I am not ever going to take life for granted. I mean I feel many people do. We are stuck in this disk skipping routine in which get up every morning and go to bed each night, somehow "knowing" that we are going to see the sunrise again. We step out each morning with just a wave instead of hugging the person we love and squeezing them tight, thinking that we are going to see them that afternoon.......
*Mend all wrongs, Love Hard, Dance in the Rain....Live Laugh Love..*
The other death was of a baby. I am not sure how long she was able to experience the world, a few mins? seconds? not at all? but I can't imagine the pain the mother is feeling right now. Especially since that baby was going to be the last piece of her husband that she had left. Her husband was an officer killed in the line of duty two weeks ago.
So what did I gather from this? SERIOUSLY, Death knows no age. Kids die before parents, younger siblings before older siblings, I mean it happens. I mean my sister sees death everyday, she is a social worker with the elderly and she actually has seen the dying process. Yesterday, after telling me about her day, she explained to me that there are actually not only different stages of dying, but she has seen different kinds of ways people "move on". It is scary, but it is natural. Yesterday, was emotionally draining for me, which is a downside of being a feeler. I pray for both families mentioned, and have really gotten an eye opener. I am not ever going to take life for granted. I mean I feel many people do. We are stuck in this disk skipping routine in which get up every morning and go to bed each night, somehow "knowing" that we are going to see the sunrise again. We step out each morning with just a wave instead of hugging the person we love and squeezing them tight, thinking that we are going to see them that afternoon.......
*Mend all wrongs, Love Hard, Dance in the Rain....Live Laugh Love..*
Facebook Frenzy
So! Monday I had off and so my first day back was Tuesday. This week started my week with Carmen (see the Song of Thanks post). She was unable to be at the studio in person because her daughter was ill. However, that is why God created man who created the Internet. She emailed me the tasks that she needed me to do. SO, what I basically had to do was transfer photos from The Morning Cruise facebook to files on my computer, because Carmen has been wanting to create a fan page for the morning show in forever, but has never been able to get around to it. So I spent most of the day doing that, which I didn't mind because it is helping the Joy FM connect with people and stay in touch with them. After I was done with that, I began to help Mama Mary. I helped her package the prizes for the Friday Free for All winners.
After the day was done, I had some talk time with Mary, which really helped me unwind and kind of soothe some concerns I had in the back of my mind about life after college. I think that is exactly what people should do, they should talk about everything that is bothering them. Even if you aren't comfortable about letting people know you're worried about something, get out of your comfort zone, because afterwards, it helps. And if you feel like there is no one to talk to, you are wrong, THERE IS GOD! He is always there. So that is what I learned on Tuesday. A post about Wednesday and the huge conversation that it sparked between my sister and I.
After the day was done, I had some talk time with Mary, which really helped me unwind and kind of soothe some concerns I had in the back of my mind about life after college. I think that is exactly what people should do, they should talk about everything that is bothering them. Even if you aren't comfortable about letting people know you're worried about something, get out of your comfort zone, because afterwards, it helps. And if you feel like there is no one to talk to, you are wrong, THERE IS GOD! He is always there. So that is what I learned on Tuesday. A post about Wednesday and the huge conversation that it sparked between my sister and I.
Friday, July 16, 2010
O Happy Friday
So today is Friday and it is slow here in the office. A majority of people are on vacation and the phones ring periodically. Today, I am just helping Luisa with the phone and hanging out, however, she is teaching me many lessons. I am letting Luisa's wisdom flow into my mind and heart. I know that I do have to read the bible on my own and let God speak to me, however a bit of wisdom from a third party never hurts; especially since Luisa is really open minded. I have had many judgemental, ignorant, and close minded people speak theology to me, and it has shaped my perception of who God is, which is wrong. I understand now that I have never truly experienced God. I haven't let Him speak to me, I have let other people speak to me about Him, which is something that has ended. I am experiencing God the way I want to, DIRECTLY. Though today was a slow day work wise, it has been a blessing mentally. Well , I am off on Monday and I am with Carmen next week. It will be fun. For now, I am going to have an awesome three day weekend. So Bye!
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